Thursday, June 29, 2006

How to Grow Basil

This picture is to make my Mom jealous. See that small speck in the lower left? That is a life-size hippopotamus. That's how big this plant is. It's so big, I have saved at least three African nations from starvation with this plant alone. New species of birds have evolved within its branches, and a team of ornithologists who went in to describe them is currently missing. Global warming is no longer a problem thanks to this plant having sucked up all of the excess carbon. The stomata are so large they make Madonna look like a virgin. It excretes pure plutonium. People in China complain because the roots have gone so deep, they puncture through to the other side...

You get the idea.